We fill our homes with devices over which we have little or no control. Our speakers, doorbells, televisions, and fridges are getting smart. We are getting used to relinquishing our privacy and our lives to random startups that won’t hesitate a second to sell our data to the highest bidder. But what if we went rogue? What if we took back control? In this talk, I will explain how to replace devices over which you have no control with devices over which you have absolute and complete control. We will see how easy it is to build smart devices which are safe and privacy conscious, thanks to the powers of Elixir and Nerves. At the end of the talk, you should feel confident to go out there and build your own reliable, discreet and smart Nervous assistants.